My, how tempus fugits. Another year of blogging has now passed and CLL Diary enters Year Three.
I recently made a point of rereading everything I have written to date; the purpose was to keep the blog in good running condition -- to do things like fix broken links, and to add updates and afterwords where I thought appropriate if I have new information or further comments that might be of use.
But it also gave me a perspective on how my disease has changed and progressed, and how my reaction to it has also. I feel a bit older and wiser about chronic lymphocytic leukemia now than when I started, and I feel as if I am starting to hit my stride in terms of perspectives on treatments, balancing risks and rewards, and so on. (Of course, every time I think I have things sort of figured out, something comes along to humble me again; 'twas ever thus with CLL.)
I do this blog for two reasons. The selfish one is that it serves as a creative outlet; I have been a writer all my life and, as they say, "write what you know." The second reason is that I have a genuine desire to help other patients and their caregivers, and if any of my experiences and perspectives prove useful to you, then it is profoundly gratifying to me. Eventually, after my transplant and my cure -- I am an optimist by nature -- I could see working as a patient advocate if there is some way of making a living at it. So far CLL has been a vast sinkhole for time, energy, and money.
I will continue CLL Diary for the foreseeable future, even as I expect the next year to bring some big changes in my life. More on those as they unfold.
And I will continue to follow the credo that I started with: to be honest and true, to discuss my bad choices as well as my good, and to tell it as I see it. Only then does this blog have real value, and the exercise of writing it serves to keep me honest to myself as well as to you.
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